At the end of each week we try to lighten the mood with some childfree humor.
This week let us introduce you to the hilarious Sh*t My Kids Ruined
After all everyday is a Friday to the childfree!
Search Results for: no kids
Another One Bites the Dust: Kim Kardashian No Longer Childfree
January 29, 2013 by 2 Comments
Kim Kardashian – BlackBerry Porsche P’9981 (Photo credit: Hollywood_PR)
Just over a year ago Kim Kardashian accepted her role as doting auntie. She was content not having her own kids. We celebrated here at WNK.
“At first I was like, I want six kids. Then I went down to four, then I was down to three, and now I’m like, maybe I won’t have any,” she says glumly. “Maybe I’ll just be a good aunt…at this moment in my life, I feel like maybe I’m not supposed to have kids and all that,” Kim says in a December 6 Glamour Magazine article (source Us Magazine)
All that changed when the reality star started dating Kanye West. Bump watch began immediately. Kanye and Kim and all 8,000 Kardashians recently konfirmed that KK and KW had indeed made a baby. So now we get to hear about it for the next six months. Kongrats!
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Am I trying too hard to be the cool Auntie? (Giving gifts to the kids in your Childfree life)
January 28, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Original Annie on Broadway (Credit: Wikipedia)
UPDATE: For some reason this post got lost in the holiday mail!
I’m too excited to sleep! On Saturday I’m taking my goddaughter to see Annie on Broadway for her 9th birthday. It’s going to be the best birthday ever – just like it was my best Christmas gift ever when I was nine and my parents took me (31 years ago)! I think. I hope.
Am I trying too hard because I don’t have kids of my own? Nope. I just want to be the cool Auntie, like my idol the Savvy Auntie. I want to be the best godmama in the world every time I see my godchildren (four and counting). There is no way that I could sustain this level of pressure 24/7.
Am I forcing my own wants on this little girl that I love to bits? Perhaps. Last year I bought a rare Barbie – because I loved/loooove Barbie! The year before it was art supplies and jewelry and a fancy dress like these cute short dresses for prom, all things I craved. No complaints from the recipient so far. I was also so happy to find enchanted soul rompers online.
Am I trying to buy love with gifts? Maybe. I had a cool aunt who bought the best gifts and she was my favorite until she had little girl of her own. (Me? Jealous?)
Am I trying to influence this poor child into becoming more like me? Ha! Isn’t that what “real” parents do? (I still want to be my mom when/if I grow up.)
Still, I can’ t help thinking: what if it’s the worst birthday ever and she winds up in therapy because she really wanted to see Mary Poppins on Broadway instead but, no, I MADE her see Annie? Gah! To be continued…
Hey WNKsters what did you get your nieces, nephews, godchildren this year for Christmas/Hanukkah?
UPDATE PART 2: No one cried or died! Hooray! Success. Now how do I top it?
Motherhood: A Choice not a Destination
January 21, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Motherhood is a choice not a destination.
Throughout much of Latin America motherhood is more destiny than decision for many young women despite limited abilities to care for a child.
Vera Cordeiro, Founder and General Superintendant of Associação Saude Criança, gives details of the situation in Brazil that spans throughout many places in Latin America about the inherent beliefs of motherhood:
Cordeiro says, “…in the favelas of Brazil the identity of motherhood is status–a ‘destination’ sought by teenage girls who view the opportunity to have a baby as a validation of their esteem even though they are unprepared to raise a child.
Favelas can be violent places to live. The rules are often different in places affected by abject poverty. And for young girls, pregnancy is often viewed as ‘protective’ in ways that outsiders may not understand. As it was explained to me, having a baby by a leader in the community associates that girl with a powerful man. That identity can protect her as her child will be recognized as belonging to the leader. This is the destination sought by many young girls.” (La Vie Childfree blogpost: Making Motherhood a Choice in Brazil.)
The Aconchego Project
While this debilitating mindset and incumbent social gridlock are prevalent, efforts are being made to combat the underlying challenges. Associação Saúde Criança was founded in 1991 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil to help “poor families by providing help in the areas of education, health, income, housing, and citizenship” (Vera Cordeiro: Making Motherhood a Choice, Not a Destination). In 2005 the organization launched a major initiative called “Aconchego Teen” targeting teenage women and birth rates.
Volunteers group (Image credit: Associação Saúde Criança)
“Aconchego Teen,” which means coziness, a place for warmth and security, is designed as a public square in which teenage girls receive education regarding motherhood and pregnancy. The objective was to change the embedded view in poor teenagers that suggests motherhood is a destination instead of a personal choice. (Vera Cordeiro: Making Motherhood a Choice, Not a Destination.)
The Aconchego Project, sponsored by Johnson & Johnson, spans an average of two years for each adolescent and emphasizes other interests and perspectives so that the rate of teen pregnancy decreases (Vera Cordeiro: Making Motherhood a Choice, Not a Destination).
The project seems to be a success with teen pregnancy in Brazil dropping by 34.6% between 2000 and 2010 according to Brazil’s Health Ministry.
So far, over 200 teenagers have participated in Aconchego Teen and the feedback from both parents and teenagers is strongly positive. Not only has the project helped teens understand the difficulties of motherhood but it has also paved the way for a better communication and understanding with their parents. We encourage teens to stay in school and prepare themselves for the labor market. That way, they will experience motherhood when [and if] they are ready to embrace the joys of having a child. (Vera Cordeiro: Making Motherhood a Choice, Not a Destination.)
Read the full article here: Vera Cordeiro: Making Motherhood a Choice, Not a Destination.
Follow Vera Cordeiro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@saudecrianca
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Motherhood: Decision, Not Destiny
September 5, 2012 by 2 Comments
Motherhood: Echoes of RNC 2012
American culture… assumes that all women want to become mothers. And the best kind of woman — the best kind of mother — is portrayed as one who puts her maternal role above everything else. (The Washington Post)
Did you get that, childfree women? You’re dropping the ball. Tarnishing the ideal. Betraying your gender.
Jessica Valenti‘s (@JessicaValenti) hard-hitting but sage op-ed, “Are all women born to be mothers?“, takes a deserved swipe at the regressive (and increasingly deafening) womanhood-equals-motherhood rhetoric attempting to drown out a century’s progress in gender equality.
“Republicans’ efforts to woo women [which] have become fever-pitch pandering as the party tries to undo damage from comments such as Rep. Todd Akin’s remark that a ‘legitimate’ rape victim can’t get pregnant and Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett’s advice to women who object to invasive ultrasounds before an abortion: ‘You just have to close your eyes.'” (The Washington Post)
The founder of Feministing.com, Valenti’s article was adapted from her new book, Why Have Kids?, which delves into the relationship between motherhood and happiness and is described as “a book for parents who can handle the truth.” If this op-ed is any indication, Valenti doesn’t shy from the gritty and grimy. I’m adding it to my WNK reading list. Expect a review sooner (if it’s great) or later (if it’s not so great!) In the meantime, here’s a glimpse at what she explores in the book.
Valenti drops up a couple of disturbing retro-feminist motherhood bombs before offering a glimmer of hope:
In 2006, the term “pre-pregnant” was coined in a Washington Post story about a report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommending that all women of childbearing age care for their pre-conception health… The CDC was asking women to behave as if they were already pregnant, even if they had no intention of conceiving in the near — or distant — future. For the first time, a U.S. government institution was explicitly saying what social norms had always hinted at: All women, regardless of whether they have or want children, are moms-in-waiting. (The Washington Post)
Rebecca Kukla, a professor of internal medicine and philosophy at Georgetown University and the author of Mass Hysteria: Medicine, Culture, and Mothers’ Bodies said at a recent seminar, “Do lesbians, women who are carefully contracepting and not interested in having children, 13-year-olds, women done having kids, really want their bodies seen as prenatal, understood solely in terms of reproductive function?” (The Washington Post)
And now for the glimmer of hope. Valenti cites a 2010 study from the Pew Research Center which found that the rate of childfree women in the United States had almost doubled during the previous three decades which amounts to approximately 20% of the female population. This is interesting and surprising, especially given how little media attention has been brought to bear on the growing rate of women opting not to reproduce.
Valenti’s op-ed concludes with Laura Scott, author of Two Is Enough who believes that motherhood/parenthood is no longer the assumption for many couples.
Laura Scott, the author of Two Is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice
, says the No. 1 reason women give for not wanting children is that they don’t want their lives to change… The other reasons they gave: loving the relationship they were in “as it is,” valuing their “freedom and independence,” not wanting to take on “the responsibility of raising a child,” a desire to focus “on my own interests, needs or goals,” and wanting to accomplish “things in life that would be difficult to do if I was a parent.” (The Washington Post)
As we brace for a national election cycle increasingly drawn to divisive wedge issues we can expect to witness more placating and more pandering, but I hope that we won’t get sucked into a time machine where women are represented primarily as walking, talking reproductive organs. I hope that 20% of the US female population who’ve opted to remain childfree will feel proud and confident as they re-frame “family values” in a less Neanderthal context. And I hope that childfree men will stand up and own our half of the childfree movement. This is not about feminism, gents; it’s about humanism. Time to stand by your woman!
[Hat tip to The Washington Post for providing the source images for the much distorted and contorted collage at the beginning of this post.]
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10 More Reasons to Not Have a Baby
August 20, 2012 by 5 Comments
Why no kids? Projectile vomit!
As if you needed more reasons to not have a baby, I’m tapping Scary Mommy this morning for a few reminders why some of us opt to remain childfree.
Ready?
[Do a little dance!]
Jill Smokler’s motivation for scribling just a few (in the comments she admits that plenty more could have been added to the list) reasons to not have a baby was a comment directed at her family while visiting friends recently: “the Smoklers certainly serve as excellent birth control.” (Full disclosure: I admit, my bride and I have more than once cited others (friends and otherwise) as reasons to not have a baby…)
Unoffended but inspired, Ms. Smokler set out to trump their childfree quip with 50 Reasons To Not Have A Baby. Although you’ll enjoy all of her unfiltered quips, these are my favorites.
- Stretch marks on top of stretch marks.
- Sex with a fetus in the middle.
- The placenta.
- Worrying that the baby’s floppy head might actually fall off.
- Rectally taking temperatures.
- Sore nipples.
- Being incapable of having conversations with other adults.
- Projectile vomit.
- Spit up covered shoulders.
- Explosive diarrhea.
(via Scary Mommy)
From stretch marks to diarrhea, Scary Mommy squirms at nothing. Honest gripes from a candid parent. Thanks, Ms. Smokler, for reminding WNKers of a few less heady, more body-and-body-fluid reasons why no kids trumps kidding… Add them to your list of reasons to not have a baby, and if you’ve got a particularly gross addition, please add it in the comments.
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(Child)Free Money #2: How much $ can I save by not having babies?
August 4, 2012 by Leave a Comment
In (Child)Free Money #1: Can I afford to have kids?
, we introduced the USDA’s “Cost of Raising a Child Calculator” and noted the high cost of having kids.
A middle income family, defined as a married couple with two children and a before-tax income averaging $79,940, spent approximately $13,050 per year on each child for their first 18 years of life.
Assuming the $13,050 as a starting point (spending varies and depends on household income), parents spend $234,900 per child just to get them out of High School.
So, congratulations, by choosing to remain childfree. Instead of having 2.1 kids like the average U.S. family, you saved about $470,000, and that is just the beginning.
That number assumes that there is no inflation or that wages keep pace with child-rearing and living expenses. It does not account for higher education, the boomerang babies, lost wages or productivity or unmeasurable costs of added stress and inadequate sleep. Search on delta 8 near me to get your hands on the best stress relieving medicine of all time.
It also doesn’t account for lost savings. The cost to parents is not only what they spend, but the lost opportunity to invest that money.
If instead of spending $13,050/child annually, you invest that money the end of each year to age 18, you will earn $107,000 in interest and save nearly $343,000 by not having just 1 baby. So if investing is your chosen path, you can start by going though the best investment apps uk | Theinvestorscentre.co.uk.
If you invest $26,100/year instead of having 2 kids, you will save $685,000 – before college! So inn order to start investing now, just click on this link: https://nytimesmag.com/2023/08/01/kiana-danials-path-towards-becoming-a-leading-financial-literacy-coach/.
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In the next installment, we will calculate saving/cost through college graduation. (Hint: ouch!)
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Happy Non-Parents Day!
August 1, 2012 by 15 Comments
When I was in my early-ish twenties I asked a lot of questions of friends and colleagues that had kids and/or were married. What’s the best part? What’s the worst? Would you change anything? What are you not telling me? No, seriously…
As you would expect, I got a wide range of answers, and some questions in return. A lot of men that were then my current age, 40, cautioned me about marriage. No one with kids told me they regretted it, but several made sure I knew that kids would change my life and my relationship drastically.
Most repeated thoughtless shit they heard somewhere (everywhere) else.
“You have to work at it.”
“It was the best day of my life.”
“Marriage is hard.”
“It’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“… a miracle…. a blessing”
And when I asked again, “how?” or “why?”, they said nothing. I was young and dumb, but knew that skepticism is warranted whenever people are saying the same damn meaningless things, repeatedly. And what the hell does “marriage is hard” or “kids are a blessing” mean anyway? Nothing! People just said, and say, what the culture tells them they should say.
Looking back on this non-parents day, I want to thank those that were honest with me. I also want to express some regret that I didn’t really have any committed childfree adults to talk to. So I also want to encourage readers to share (in the comments or on Facebook) their most bare, honest answer to:
“For you, what is the best thing about being child-free?”
Because I know there are young people out there with no one to ask or no one that will respond honestly; and because I think all of us should be able to note, today at the very least, why we are celebrating.
Related articles:
August 1st Happy Non-Parents Day! – (whynokids.com)
Childfree? Really? Common Questions and Comments (Part 3) (whynokids.com)
Childfree? Really? Common Questions and Comments (Part 2) (whynokids.com)
Travel for Couples Without Kids?
July 19, 2012 by 10 Comments
Back in early 2011, my husband and I started a social networking group in Boston called Couples Without Kids (our friends with children “affectionately” referred to the group as “Couples Who Hate Kids”). We actually really like (some) children but had determined that we did not want them for ourselves. As we were getting into our 30s and 40s, we found that it was becoming increasingly difficult to find other couples who didn’t have children. While organizing events and gatherings for our group, we discovered that many of our members shared a passion for outdoor adventures, and some even had off road camper trailers that they used for weekend getaways in the wilderness.
Couples Without Kids
Our concept for the meetup group was that it would be a social networking group only – not a support group. We weren’t looking to have intimate discussions about our reasons for being childfree, we just wanted to meet some nice people who could go out for drinks or meet for dinner on a moment’s notice. How tired are you of making plans 3 months in advance only to have it cancelled because Billy’s got the Hershey squirts? We like being able to call a CWK couple at 7 because we need a replacement at 8 for our trivia contest at the local bar (and we all know trivia + cocktails = fun).
Couples Without Kids Trips
Over the course of the past year, we’ve met many wonderful couples without kids and found one common interest (among many) was the love of traveling. I’ve traveled extensively throughout the US, Canada, Mexico, the Caribbean, Europe and beyond. Therefore, early in 2012, I partnered with Travel Concepts, a well-established American Express Travel company, to launch a new business called “Couples Without Kids Trips”. The concept is to offer unique, personalized experiences for childfree adults.
We offer two kinds of services – Organized Group Trips for childfree couples as well as Personalized Trips for childfree couples and adults (small groups, singles, honeymooners and “empty nesters”). Instead of “family-friendly” destinations, we are specialists in adult-only vacations (just like this vacation trip at an all inclusive resorts maldives adults only) and finding destinations and excursions which cater to childfree adults. You can have a relaxing stay to this boutique hotel in Phú Quốc Vietnam. However, with a private jet charter like the ones at Jettly, there are many benefits that you can take advantage of, even if you’re used to flying in first class or business class on regular flights.
A client recently asked me about the possibility of scheduling them on a childfree flight. Although we can’t make miracles like this happen (yet), we do our best to cater to our childfree travelers. For a humorous look at childfree travel, check out this video from DINKLife. For more information about CWK Trips, please visit our website at www.coupleswithoutkidstrips.com. If you “like” us on Facebook, you’ll receive updates about upcoming trips and promotions.
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(Child)Free Money #1: Can I afford to have kids?
July 18, 2012 by 2 Comments
There is ample evidence that household finances affect relationships, stress levels, lifestyles, choices and happiness. Financial security and flexibility are obviously on any list of reasons childfree or childless couples are often happier than parents.
So if you are planning to have kids or wrestling with the decision, you might want to consult a calculator or accountant, especially in this uncertain era in which resources are limited, household incomes are stagnant or shrinking, inflation is lurking, and the cost of raising and educating kids has increased rapidly.
The USDA’s “Cost of Raising a Child Calculator” is a great place to start. “Cost” is a bit misleading, because the USDA numbers reflect what parents spend on kids before they are 18.
Dr Mark Lino, USDA Economist, explained in an email to WhyNoKids:
“The data we use (the Consumer Expenditure Survey) examines what families are spending. Cost can be a somewhat subjective concept. For example, we look at how much families are spending on children’s clothing. This is a different concept than what it may cost to adequately clothe a child (two pairs of shoes a year, five pairs of pants, etc.).“
The USDA site and study are worth a look. But start with this story published July 16:
Priceless and pricey: USDA tallies child-raising costs | Management content from Western Farm Press.
Middle income parents of a child born in 2011 can expect to spend about $234,900 ($295,560 if projected inflation costs are factored in*) for food, shelter, and other necessities to raise a child over the next 17 years. Let’s look at the breakdown:
- A middle income family, defined as a married couple with two children and a before-tax income averaging $79,940, spent approximately $13,050 per year on each child for their first 18 years of life.
- Expenses averaged about $760 less for younger children from birth to 2 years old, and averaged $1,270 more for teenagers between 15-17 years of age.
- Teenagers are more expensive because they have higher food costs, as well as higher transportation costs when they start to drive.
- Housing accounts for the largest expense (30 percent) for a child. Housing expenses escalate with the need for additional bedrooms and bathrooms. This is followed by child care/education (18 percent) for those with this expense, and food (16 percent).
In (Child)Free Money #2, we will calculate how much money couples can save over 18 years by not having children and investing what they would have spent instead.
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