April 24, 2014

Childfree News: From Tubal Ligation to the Baby Matrix

Topless in the Adirondacks via virtualdavis

Topless in the Adirondacks via virtualdavis

Drowning beneath the avalanche of childfree news? It’s staggering how quickly and widely childfree news has been transformed from whisper-only taboo to mainstream media fodder. So much is being pondered and debated, it’d hard to believe that even a few years ago childfree news was so hush-hush that television, newspapers and magazines didn’t want to touch it with a ten foot pole.

Childfree News Glut

Today we’re awash in childfree news, and not just in the blogosphere. Mainstream media finally read that memo about more and more couples are opting to remain childfree by choice. Concerned about spiraling audiences, niche audiences took on a sexier appeal. Result? It’s tough to find a new outlet who isn’t flogging the childfree news horse. It’s always fun to swing from the fringe to the mainstream, at least at first, but it’s actually become challenging to keep up with the latest childfree news because there’s just so much of it.

We’ll attempt to distill the best from the rest, making it that much easier for you to join the childfree intelligentsia! Or at least wile away a sleepy afternoon at the office…

Top Childfree News

Sterilize Me, Please: Why is it so difficult for young women to get their tubes tied? (By J. Bryan Lowder) There are some people who don’t want to have kids. Then there are some people who really don’t want to have kids… some men and women never heed (or even feel) the tick of the biological clock. But others are more proactive. Monica Trombley is in the latter camp… [she] decided at the age of 26 that permanent sterilization by tubal ligation—a procedure colloquially called “getting your tubes tied”—was the right choice for her. But as Trombley quickly learned, many gynecologists disagreed. (Slate Magazine)

I Wish I’d Never Had Children (By Sonja Ebbels) Over coffee with a group of friends recently, there was an understanding atmosphere when one of the mums, a close friend of mine, started discussing the struggle she was having with her children. We all nodded sympathetically and sighed with agreement, until she announced that if she had her time over again, she wouldn’t have had children. At once each of us looked around, ensuring our children hadn’t heard her comment. (Stuff.co.nz)

Please, Please, Please: Do Not Make Your Kid The Center Of Your Universe (By Cassie Murdoch) It’s so hard to know whether becoming a parent will ruin your life or be the only thing that makes it worth living. We may not get a grand verdict anytime soon, but new research has at least figured out one thing: moms who believe they are the most important person in their baby’s life and that they should always put the kid’s needs first are way more likely to be unhappy. Perhaps feeding them like a bird or hovering over them like helicopter is the key to their lasting happiness, but is it the key to yours? (Jezebel)

I Want to Want a Baby (By Liz Ference) Having a baby would, of course, be terrifying – but at least I’d have the benefit of knowing that everyone else around me would be going through the same thing and I wouldn’t be alone, and that my remaining days would now be filled with a very definitive purpose. Going it alone… means that I’d be, well…alone, and entirely responsible for defining my purpose in life – coming up with some reason why I’m walking the Earth and making meaningful use of my time. (Maybe Baby, Maybe Not!)

Accidentally Childfree (By Farzana Gardee) I never imagined that I would one day be discussing a childfree life, let alone my childfree life. I had never been taught to think of this as an option… My family is large — babies popping out of every crevice — with only a scattering of childfree women… They lead fringe existences when compared to other robust women speed cycling between pregnancy and breastfeeding and changing nappies and doing school-drop offs and living lives as full as their engorged breasts… And today, I am childfree. (The Huffington Post)

10 Things Never to Say to Childless Friends (By Charlotte Latvala) When you’re an enthusiastic member of the mom club, it’s natural to want your pals to join too. But making assumptions about your buddy’s baby-making plans can be offensive and invasive—and thinking you know better because you’re a parent can hurt your friend’s feelings… Whether a couple is childless by choice or struggling to conceive, prying questions are likely to hit a nerve… Here are some gaffes to avoid with childless friends–and what to say instead. (Glo.msn.com)

Laura Carroll Interview About The Baby Matrix I want people to know what pronatalism is, its origins, and why it remains so pervasive in our society, even though in so many ways it is to our detriment. I want readers to understand why we have believed seven long held pronatalist assumptions for so long despite the fact that they either no longer serve us or have never been true to begin with. I want readers to understand why it is time to stop blindly believing pronatalist beliefs, realize their serious costs, and why it is time to move toward what I call a “post-pronatal society.” (Laura Carroll)

Childfree News Recommendations

What are you reading in childfree news? Anything we missed that you think we should pass along to other WNKers? Please add your recommendations in the comments below. Thanks!

About virtualDavis

G.G. Davis, Jr. (aka virtualDavis) is a writer, storyteller, unabashed flâneur and eager-beaver uncle. Despite two whiz-bang nieces, two superstar nephews, and rewarding teaching/coaching stints at the American School of Paris and Santa Fe Preparatory School, he remains willingly, enthusiastically and happily childfree. His WNK posts are part of an ongoing attempt to understand why. Rosslyn Redux, a transmedia chronicle about rehabilitating an historic property in the Adirondacks, offers a more ironic twist on his childfree adventure. He also blogs at virtualDavis.com and EssexonLakeChamplain.com. Connect with G.G. Davis, Jr. via Twitter, Facebook or Google+.

  • LauraCarroll

    Hi Virtualdavis –  Hey thanks for the quote excerpt from a recent interview about The Baby Matrix (BMx)! I would say that in the last ten years or so there has been more out there on the childfree than ever before. When Families of Two first came out, it was quite the provocative topic and it really told me that it was time for the childfree to come out of the tributaries of society.  We are still on the way out -over the last
    decade, the question, “Is it okay to not want kids?” has been asked, chewed on over and over
    again. The childfree choice has been studied more than ever before,
    and more books have come out related to this topic more than ever before. We know the
    answer: Yes, it’s okay to not want parenthood to be the central
    focus of their lives. But it keeps being talked about because this reality is hard for society to totally accept. Why? That’s the door into what BMx is about! 

     

    • http://virtualDavis.com virtualDavis

      Thanks, Laura. Looks like BMx should be added to our childfree reading list!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/daveewer David Ewer

    Hi, great article. I’ve published a book about the Ms.siah – a middle-aged woman and her girlfriends who realise the ecosystem cannot stand any more humans and decide to do something about it. It’s entitled DOG Sharon: The Future is Female. DOG is an acronym for Daughter Of God :) It’s funny, iconoclastic and hugely controversial. I’ve got some copies to give away if you fancy a read.
    The story is set in contemporary England and the book’s available on Amazon.
    Here’s a link to our FB page http://www.facebook.com/DOGSharonTheFutureIsFemale
    or my blog @ dogsharon.com

    • http://virtualDavis.com virtualDavis

      Intrigued. Shoot us a review copy. Thanks for your comment and links.

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  • Nancy

    I am 23 and single with no kids. I am getting my tubes tied in two weeks. I made one appointment with only one doctor and he agreed to tie my tubes. There is a plan and process to getting your tubes tied. Need any help? http://www.tubestiednokids.wordpress.com