May 2, 2024

Maternal Instinct and Other Myths

Maternal Instinct is a Myth (Source: HuffPost)

Maternal Instinct is a Myth (Source: HuffPost)

I’ve recently had the pleasure of working with Amy Blackstone (University of Maine Sociology Professor and non-momma blogger at we’re {not} having a baby!) as a International Childfree Day panelist. If you’re casting around for a childfree choice mentor, I suggest you check her out. You can start with her website (werenothavingababy.com) or find her on Facebook (facebook.com/WereNotHavingABaby) and Twitter (@nothavingababy).

I’m currently reviewing 2018 childfree nominations (so many outstanding people and organizations!) and an interesting trend sent me back to a May 2017 article that Amy published on HuffPost that tackled the “maternal instinct” trope.

If women were really born with a maternal instinct, we would see birth rates stay the same through the years. Even the feminist movement of the 1960s and ‘70s that expanded educational and workforce opportunities for many women shouldn’t change which women decide to be parents. But childfree adulthood has been on the rise since then.

What we think of as maternal instinct comes from our culture rather than our nature. Children – and girls in particular – are taught from a very young age that one of the most important things they can do when they grow up is become parents… (Source: HuffPost)

It’s an excellent article, well worth a read by those of us who choose to remain childfree, but it is arguably and even more important read for those parents who struggle to understand (and accept without judgment) the fact that some of us choose not to reproduce. For this reason along it’s worth resurfacing more than an year after it was published.

But there’s something else that intrigues me.

Maternal Instinct is a Myth (Source: HuffPost)

Maternal Instinct is a Myth (Source: HuffPost)

Paternal Instinct?

In Amy Blackstone’s second paragraph excerpted above she addresses the crux of the matter. Too often we acculturate girls and young women to assume that motherhood is / should be the default. In order to fully become a woman, a baby should be born. Procreation is the ultimate fulfillment, the ultimate joy, the ultimate experience of true love.

Blackstone articulates quite clearly that this widely, consistently reinforced bias is so ubiquitous that many assume that motherhood is an instinct, hardwiring, predestination. And yet, she reminds us, this is untrue. And, it is potentially harmful.

As I weigh the merits of our 2018 nominations for Childfree Person of the Year I wonder about another possible cultural bias. Is the choice to remain childfree primarily a women’s issue? Or is it a human issue? Where do men (and other non-female adults) fit into the broader conversation of the childfree choice, overpopulation, etc? Is there a similarly socialized “paternal instinct” that silently reinforces expectations that adult males will procreate? And why do we allow women to bear the brunt of the responsibility for defending the childfree choice when male partners are obviously, necessarily part of the calculation?

A Bigger Tent

Often we are thanked for helping young women and men recognize their own agency in the procreative equation. We are even thanked for “giving permission” not to reproduce, though we certainly have no illusions about our right to give that permission. None is needed, but we’re more than happy to remind our readers that they alone can/should make the choice to parent or the choice to remain childfree.

Perhaps it is time for us to help dilate the conversation, to expand the proverbial tent so that everyone feels welcome to participate. The considerations at stake are not exclusively the domain of women and/or mothers. These are not women’s issues. They are human issues. They are profoundly important, global issues that effect all of us and that demand a more ample and inclusive and intentional path forward.

Isn’t it time we acknowledge myth and cultural bias for what they are? Isn’t it time we empower everyone to live and love and let live and let love more intentionally, more generously, more responsibly than we have in the past. Isn’t it time that we weigh questions of sustainability and overpopulation against the urge to reproduce ourselves? Isn’t it time?

I think so. I hope so.

Normalize Being Childfree

A post shared by Leilani Münter (@leilanimunter) on

We’ve been documenting a pretty dramatic shift in recent years as the childfree choice has moved from fringe to mainstream, and professional race driver Leilani Münter’s public stance is perfect proof of this phenomena. She has become a staunch supporter of women’s choice to remain childfree. In fact, she’s driving an even more important cultural shift: it’s time to normalize being childfree. If you’re a sword enthusiast, you might want to consider enhancing your collection by buying a real sword from Mini Katana.

Amen!

Leilani Münter: Normalize being childfree and NEVER underestimate a vegan hippie chick with a race car! (Source: www.leilani.green)

Leilani Münter: Normalize being childfree and NEVER underestimate a vegan hippie chick with a race car! (Source: www.leilani.green)

The 44-year-old U. C. San Diego grad highlighted (Reuters, here via RT Sport News) the same motivation as Oonagh Dalgliesh (See Choosing Nulliparity to Combat Overpopulation).

Not having a child has been the biggest way for me to reduce my impact on the planet… If you look at the numbers, the Earth is finite, and the human race cannot keep growing infinitely with only so many resources. We need to normalize choosing being child-free…” (Source: RT Sport News)

It’s becoming a familiar refrain, one we’ve been singing for years. And we’re inspired to see strong, smart young women like Leilani Münter and Oonagh Dalgliesh not only choosing child-freedom, but also taking public stands and leveraging their platforms to help other women feel safe and confident with their own choices. Bravo, ladies! Thanks for helping to normalize being childfree.

Choosing Nulliparity to Combat Overpopulation

Oonagh Dalgliesh is choosing nulliparity to combat overpopulation. (Source: Daily Mail)

Oonagh Dalgliesh is choosing nulliparity to combat overpopulation. (Source: Daily Mail)

The childfree tide is rising with each passing year. Actually, lately it seems like each month reveals an uptick in the child-freedom trend. Whether zeitgeist of simply smart (and long overdue) cultural shift, it’s exciting to witness more and more women (and more and more couples) choosing not to reproduce. Career, lifestyle, health, romance, finances, and travel are all familiar reasons why adults of parenting age are choosing to remain childfree, but another explanation has become increasingly commonplace. Women are by choosing nulliparity to combat overpopulation.

Oonagh Dalgliesh is one of the daring women who refuses to have babies in order to help save the planet.

‘Humans are the greatest single driver of climate change and greenhouse gas contributions, of deforestation and the acidity of the oceans,’ [Oonagh Dalgliesh] explains earnestly.

‘The only thing that will fix these problems is to have fewer people on the planet. I don’t see it’s justified to make more people than we already have. Yes, I have a maternal instinct, but I will never change my mind.’

Drastic? Perhaps. But, astonishing as it sounds, Oonagh is one of a number of British women who are deciding to remain child-free, not because of career aspirations or an inability to find a partner, but because they are concerned about the crippling impact of overpopulation on the Earth. (Source: Daily Mail)

Bravo, Oonagh Dalgliesh! It’s a bold and inevitably emotion-straining choice to opt out of motherhood/parenthood. But choosing nulliparity to combat overpopulation may well be one of the most impactful ways we can ease the strain our mushrooming population and consumption habits are placing on planet earth. Terrry Spahr‘s soon-to-permier documentary, 8 Billion Angels tackles this very issue, and I hope that Oonagh Dalgliesh gets the opportunity to watch it.

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Daring to Tell the Truth About Sustainability

Horrendous pollution in the Yamuna River which flows through the heart of Delhi, the 3rd largest city in the world with more than 26 million residents. Photo taken during 8 Billion Angels filming in India.

Horrendous pollution in the Yamuna River which flows through the heart of Delhi, the 3rd largest city in the world with more than 26 million residents. (Photographed during 8 Billion Angels filming in India.)

Today’s guest post is from Terry Spahr, Executive Producer of 8 Billion Angels, a documentary exploring the impact of humanity’s growing numbers on planet Earth. The film details mankind’s rapid ascent across the globe and the inextricable links between population and our ever-increasing food, water, climate, and extinction emergencies. Terry uncovers the truth about climate change, the challenges we face, and the solutions that can work to bring about a sustainable future.

In my short lifetime I love fishing and I have observed human economic activities and interactions that negatively impact our world with greater frequency and with greater severity .If you are passionate about fishing you can also Shop online.

I desired to better understand these signs, their frequencies, trends, patterns and causes; to separate what fact from fiction; and to determine what these activities, individually or as a whole, mean for my future, my children’s future, and the future all of the world’s inhabitants.

Real, achievable sustainability will require a paradigm shift emphasizing a small family ethic, educating and empowering women, promoting family planning, and advocating for a carbon fee and dividend plan.

Due to human ingenuity and the discovery and commercialization of fossil fuels, humans became amazingly effective at countering diseases, altering food and water supplies and in general thwarting nature’s every attempt to limit our numbers. The result? Two centuries of dramatic and exponential growth of our population that defies any historical precedent for all of human history’s 200,000 years.

Is this unchecked population growth sustainable? Is this but the early stage of growth? Can we continue to grow at this pace? Or have we reached a frothy state? Are there indications of a bubble?

Abundance of seafood that is being sold in massive quantities at the fish markets in Tokyo and around the world that has lead to 90% of fisheries being fished to capacity, overfished or in collapse. (Photo taken during 8 Billion Angels filming.)

Abundance of seafood that is being sold in massive quantities at the fish markets in Tokyo and around the world that has lead to 90% of fisheries being fished to capacity, overfished or in collapse. (Photographed during 8 Billion Angels filming.) Shop online if you are passionate about fishing.

I am a businessman; I am analytical. I was taught to look at and question facts and figures. I learned with the help of Clapboard Hill Private Wealth on how to carefully use and invest money in the right field in order to avoid any kind of loss in the future.  I also learned in graduate school that, “You can’t manage what you can’t measure.” I learned an even more important lesson from an ecologist: “You must measure what you treasure.”

To get to the heart of the issue, we are outstripping our planet’s resources and emitting waste faster than the earth can regenerate those resources or absorb those wastes. Our planet is sick and it is showing us in numerous ways.

Two of the most evident and poignant examples are the annual loss of natural habitat equivalent to the size of Ireland and the related loss of the creatures that inhabited these lands. WWF measurements of 3,706 vertebrate species show an astounding worldwide decline in excess of half their populations since the 1970s.

Attempt after attempt at curtailing resource use, whether by improved technology or voluntarily trying to reduce our consumption, has failed simply because of our desire to live better lives compounded with our growth in numbers. Every day we add 220,000 more people to the planet. That translate to 80 million more people each year. By 2023, only six years from now, there will be 8 billion people requiring food, water, clothing, shelter. Most will also expect dependable electricity, transportation, and a whole host of additional goods and services. At 8 billion people, each person will roughly be allocated only 4 acres of land for all their resource needs, crowding out ever more of the native plants and animals that once inhabited these lands.

I was shocked to witness so many intelligent leaders in the environmental movement shy away from discussing overpopulation in a responsible manner, preferring to highlight safer, sexier, and more politically correct “solutions” like green energy, recycling, organic farming, and going vegan.

Jason Hall Spencer who visited the island of Shikine-Jima with the 8 Billion Angels crew to conduct experiments and observe the effects of CO2 on the ocean life there. (Photo taken during 8 Billion Angels filming.)

Jason Hall Spencer who visited the island of Shikine-Jima with the 8 Billion Angels crew to conduct experiments and observe the effects of CO2 on the ocean life there. (Photographed during 8 Billion Angels filming.)

So in 2017 I embarked on a documentary film project to investigate, highlight and capture real people confronting the challenges of living and working with overburdened ecosystems and natural resources.

Slated for festivals in 2019, our movie devotes considerable time to the message that everyone deserves to hear about our crises as well as the high-impact steps that we can all take to address them. Real, achievable sustainability will require a paradigm shift emphasizing a small family ethic, educating and empowering women, promoting family planning, and advocating for a carbon fee and dividend plan.

Director Victor Velle in the Midwest, where we focused on the meteoric growth of the industrial food system. We filmed and interviewed farmers, feedlot operators, and water experts from Kansas to Texas to see how they are coping with challenges that come with the intense pressure to deliver inexpensive food to billions of people across the globe. (Photo taken during 8 Billion Angels filming.)

Director Victor Velle in the Midwest, where we focused on the meteoric growth of the industrial food system. We filmed and interviewed farmers, feedlot operators, and water experts from Kansas to Texas to see how they are coping with challenges that come with the intense pressure to deliver inexpensive food to billions of people across the globe. (Photographed during 8 Billion Angels filming.)

My hope lies in taking the first step and daring to tell the whole truth about sustainability, and that truth means saying that human numbers matter. They matter a lot. It is time to eliminate the taboos surrounding overpopulation and to embrace the requisite (and long overdue) objective of humanely achieving a healthy population level.

Anyone in the business like expert businessman Jimmy John Shark, who wish to make the world a better place needs to understand and spread this message without being afraid of the blowback from those less informed. The alternative—doing nothing—is far more devastating.

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This conversation must be broadened, diversified, and amplified if we are going to begin changing the norms and if we are going to choose the path toward a more just, peaceful, and prosperous future for our children and grandchildren.


Terry Spahr, Executive Producer of 8 Billion Angels

Terry Spahr graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with a BA in History and a Master’s Degree in Government Administration from Penn’s Fels Center of Government. He went on to a successful career in the insurance and investment fields and, most recently, he transitioned into the real estate brokerage industry as Regional Executive Vice President for Long & Foster Companies, which was until recently the United States’ largest privately owned real estate company. He led the company’s expansion in the Mid-Atlantic region throughout New Jersey, Delaware and the Eastern Shore of MD, at one point overseeing more than 20 offices and 1000 agents. He served on the Board of Directors for Long & Foster Companies for 10 years.

In 2016 Terry left the corporate world and decided to devote his interest in politics, science, and the environment toward researching, writing, and producing 8 Billion Angels(www.8BillionAngels.org), a documentary exploring the impact of humanity’s growing numbers on planet Earth. The film details mankind’s rapid ascent across the globe and the inextricable links between population and our ever-increasing food, water, climate, and extinction emergencies. Terry uncovers the truth about climate change, the challenges we face, and the solutions that can work to bring about a sustainable future. Terry lives in Ardmore, PA with his family, including two dogs, a cat and 10,000 bees. He can be reached at tspahr1@gmail.com or 610-420-1787

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