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Pecking Order Debate

March 30, 2011 by 4 Comments

Over a million folks have watched this baby gibberish video.

Or else somebody working in the YouTube stats department has a twisted sense of humor.

In either case, don’t watch this video. Maybe a couple of seconds. That’s enough. If you watch the whole video, I’m guessing you have kids. And think this sort of stuff is funny. And beautiful. And you’re thinking I’m a misanthrope. A curmudgeon. Judge at will…

What’s funny about the video? Oddly red cheeks on one baby. Clown ambitions? Ostensibly the babies are twins, but Two Socks seems to be taller. Bigger. More assertive. More vocal. Funny is fast forwarding to their teenage years when little One Sock hits a growth spurt and leap frogs past Two Socks. Funny is the day that One Sock lifts Two Socks over his head at the end of the dock. In May. And flings his startled brother out into the still frigid Lake Champlain water bellowing, “That’s for the time you put my sock in the freezer and mom recorded the inane dance that followed and I blushed cherry bright and over a million people all around the world cooed over me in my soggy diaper!” That’s funny. Stay tuned. It could happen.

Filed Under: Childfree by Choice, Choice, Comedy, Video, Why No Kids? Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Not a Loser, Baby

March 25, 2011 by 7 Comments

Kate Walsh More cover girl

The Hollywood headline reads “Kate Walsh (television star of Gray’s Anatomy and Private Practice) Embarrassed For Not Having Kids”.

This newsflash did its job and caught my childfree eye. I had to read more. Maybe not coincidentally, the article is in MORE magazine, a magazine “that celebrates women over 40”. However, it seems that in this case, not having kids by 40 means this star is more likely falling or failing.

In the article Kate Walsh says, “I feel like a loser. I would definitely love to be a parent. But I definitely don’t think I want to do it on my own. Things are just going to go the way they go… I thought I’d be married and have three or four kids. I always knew I wanted to be an actress, but I think I always wanted a quote-unquote normal life because I had a very untraditional upbringing.”

So normal is two kids and a dog right? Not for the nearly 50% of American women who are not moms. (source savvyauntie.com)

Maybe Kate should talk to Oscar winner Dame Helen Mirren, who swore off childbirth after seeing a film on the subject as a kid, “I swear it traumatised me to this day. I haven’t had children and now I can’t look at anything to do with childbirth. It absolutely disgusts me.”

Childfree and carefree Cameron Diaz

Or she could listen to outspoken environmentalist Cameron Diaz, who recently defended women who don’t want children in Cosmo by saying, “I think women are afraid to say that they don’t want children because they’re going to get shunned. But I think that’s changing too now. I have more girlfriends who don’t have kids than those that do. And honestly? We don’t need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this planet.” Diaz adds she might still have kids of her own.

Every celebrity rag is filled with photos of pregnant or potentially knocked up stars. We are obsessed with bump watch and all the joys of charting famous bellies and how quickly they grow then disappear.

Maybe Kate Walsh’s PR agent thinks she is a loser for not cashing in on the craze and publicity nexus of the moment. (Although, her article has caused quite a stir of its own.) It seems more and more actresses are joining the Hollywood Baby Boom. Currently pregnant stars include: Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba, Natalie Portman, Selma Blair, Maya Rudolph, Alyssa Milano, Alicia Silverstone, and three of the five Spice Girls.

Suri cruisin’ with her $1,700 purse

The paparazzi have gone after the celebrity spawn as well. Photos of the little fashionistas are making cover stories. We’ve always wanted all the goodies and clothing from League of Legends Merchandise of the rich and famous, and now we want our kids to wear what their kids are wearing too. Does that include the $1,700 Dolce and Gabbana purse of Miss Suri Cruise, age 4? For Ms. Walsh, her ability to protect a child from the paps and lack of privacy might be influencing her decision.

With the Hollywood baby boom exploding, we could use some other childfree personalities to speak up and share that their lives without children are still worth living, and that having less is sometimes more.

Some Notable Childfree Movie Stars

George Clooney

Cameron Diaz

Hugh Grant

Renee Zellweger

Katharine Hepburn

Oprah Winfrey

Hilary Swank

Charlize Theron

Angelica Houston

Steve Martin

Marisa Tomei

Ellen DeGeneres

Portia DeGeneres

Filed Under: Childfree by Choice, Childfreedom, Choice, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Childfree? Really?: Common questions and comments (Part 1)

March 24, 2011 by 4 Comments

“When are you having kids?”, they usually ask. Not “if”. And here are the most common responses to my answer:

1) “But you guys would be great parents!”

Maybe. Not likely. But maybe. Problem is, I’m not sure I know what being a great parent means. I am fairly certain though, that WANTING to be a parent is at the top of the list of great parent things. Please enlighten me if you disagree?

2) “Does Amy (my wife) know/agree?”

My absolute favorite!

Of course.

It came up very early. Not our first date, but maybe the second. We were 27. And the answer to the standard follow-up question is that we arrived in our relationship having made the choice not to have children separately.

Still, the initial conversations were choreographed carefully. We admitted our childfree wishes apologetically, delicately dancing around the word “never”. We quizzed each other periodically; and reassurances came frequently and emphatically, but not absolutely.

For years, we packed an adoption parachute, allowed each other wiggle room, effectively saying “I love you too much to lose you. I’ll do anything else to stay with you, so could, I guess… if you change your mind… oh shit… consider adopting?”

Maybe I could do it, I thought, if that’s what it takes to keep her. And she was thinking the same thing. She wanted to know what would happen if I changed my mind, because “men can always decide to have babies”. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page regarding unwanted pregnancies.

We weren’t. We aren’t. It was the closest we ever came to breaking up, and the discussion forced us to address our childfree choices with more honesty and certainty. It was scary. We argued. Doubted. Couldn’t sleep. Then we both said “never”. Finally. Spared no room for error, we employed belt and suspenders birth control strategies.

We both came to the same conclusion before we started dating and discussed our choices early; but at times we tiptoed along the path to secure, childfree and happy.

We made our decision clear and early, but, at times, tiptoed along the path to childfree, secure and happy

3) A silent head to toe assessment in an attempt, I assume, to determine my health, sanity and sexuality.

 

I know. There’s too much product in my hair. My glasses are suspiciously fancy and my wife is far too pretty for me.

Because we don’t have kids, I have time to read and nap and surf and stay fit. But I’m hetero. And aside from the fact that I habitually heat my testicles with the warm and deadly rays of my pocket-borne cell phone, I am healthy. Sanity is another matter entirely.

Filed Under: Childfree by Choice, Childfreedom, Choice, Comedy, Happy Without Kids, Marriage
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