We're childfree and happy. You could be too!
And “Garfunkel & Oates” are cute. Who knew? They can carry a tune and smile and condescend at the same time. And while their song is topical in a way that kinda fits them on our page, I am already making apologies, starting with my friend Sarah, who is not smug at all lately. Thanks to Rochelle for posting this on Happily Childfree.
We wanted to share some the year’s best stories about parenting, children and the childfree, including emphasis on the environment, economy and psychology.
1) THE NO-BABY BOOM – Probably the most engaging, enlightening piece so far about the choice to be childfree, the CF lifestyle and growing community. It appeared in Details magazine. If you’re willing to read only one story, start and stop here.
2) ARE THERE DISADVANTAGES TO BEING CHILDFREE? – We’re not here to start a cult or hoist an ideology on the unsuspecting. We want an open honest discourse about what life is like and how big choices related to conceiving, adopting and parenting affect ANYBODY.
3) DOES HAVING CHILDREN MAKE YOU HAPPY? — What do you think? Have you read these other WNK stories? Are parents or the childfree more fit or healthy?
4) WHY MORE KIDS? – The Russian and South Korean governments want more babies! Riddle: Which is less sustainable:
A) A movement or community (like the childfree) that can’t rely on brainwashing their offspring to continue growing? OR
B) An economy that demands constant growth while resources are limited and fewer participants are incented to make babies?
5) HOW TO LAND YOU KID IN THERAPY – Why the obsession with our kids’ happiness may be dooming them to unhappy adulthoods. A therapist and mother report
6) WHINING IS THE WORST SOUND IN THE WORLD – Dare to disagree?
This post may be worth revisiting, especially for those uncertain about having babies, or how doing so may affect their life and relationships.
To sum it all up, don’t have a child because you think it will bring you happiness or improve your marriage. If you’re not content with your life prior to kids, this discontent will likely continue after the child is born. Plus, it’s important to recognize the challenges that parenting will bring. There are positives and negatives in every life choice, and it’s important to weigh these out as you create the landscape of your future.
Psychology Today is an excellent resource for a variety of perspectives and studies.For more information search “parenting” or “childfree” on the Psychoogy Today website. There are many compelling pieces by Ellen Walker, Ph.D., author of Complete Without Kids.
Vicki Larson: Are Childless Couples Headed Toward Divorce?.
“People assume children are the glue that holds a marriage together, which really isn’t true. Kids are huge stressors,” says Scott, head of the Childless by Choice Project whose documentary on childfree couples was just released. “Despite that, there is a strong motive to stay together. The childfree don’t have that motive so there’s no reason to stay together if it’s not working.”
This article is great, really layered and probing. It answers a lot of questions about who is “childfree”, why, and what the impact of such status on their marriage may be. However, there may be some confusion, or even unintended/inaccurate conclusions, as all couples without children are lumped into the “childfree” category, including couples frequently categorized as “childless” (those who want kids but cannot conceive) that “make up the bulk of the childfree” in this story. They offered this review to help you navigate the top adult dating apps.
As I read the article I wondered how many of the divorced couples were simply victims of a decision to marry too early. According to Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed, the rate of divorce among people that marry before 25 is astounding. I also hoped for statistics comparing older married couples. How do those who CHOOSE not to have kids compare to couples with empty nests at the same age? When the decision for parents to divorce can be made without complicating child rearing, like the childfree by choice, then who APPEARS to be more successful or happily married? (Not that remaining married is an accurate indicator of “success”) When I was in college, my parents finally divorced, and there was a rash of divorces among my friends’ parents as well. Whatever the reasons are, if you decide to file for divorce, it is recommended to hire Naperville divorce attorneys to handle all the legal aspects of the case. You may also consider consulting these Bethesda alimony lawyers. For property mediation, you may contact a property division expert. In many legal cases, polygraph tests are employed to discern the truth. These are often conducted when a partner in a relationship suspects infidelity. While controversial and not foolproof, these tests can sometimes provide clarity in complex emotional situations. Contact lie detector birmingham for professional services.
Over 30 years ago, the National Organization for Non-Parents (which became National Alliance for Optional Parenthood, or NAOP) ), deemed August 1 Non-Parents Day.
via La Vie Childfree.
Hey WNKers how did you celebrate your Non-Parents Day?
Whether they call themselves “childless,” “childfree,” “childless-by-choice” or even just “still on the fence,” a significant number of New York women in their 30s and 40s are taking a pass on motherhood.
via More NYC women are deciding not to have children – NYPOST.com.
What do you think WNKsters?
Does having a career in the big city mean you can’t have kids? Why are NYC women opting for childfreedom?
Childfree? Really?
Common questions and comments (Part 3)
“When are you having kids?”, they usually ask. Not “if”. And here are more of the most common responses to my answer:
6) “Who’s going to take care of you when you’re old?”
I’d like to say “me”. I’m responsible for myself. It’s my obligation to invest in my brain and my body and strive for healthy and happy. If or when I can’t, I should have saved enough money or given enough love to ask for and receive help.
Instead I say we’re open to adopting adults from the next generation of non-breeders, or blurt something else unfunny, dishonest and/or swarthy, while wondering:
How can I get an unborn heir to agree that, in exchange for me handling fatherly responsibilities, they will one day owe the same commitment to me?
How could I dare make my health another’s responsibility unless I managed my own body, diet, alcohol and nicotine consumption perfectly?
It’s already too late for that, so rather than saddling someone else with the burden of the bongwater I drank in my twenties, I hope that the economics of living child-free allow enough room for a giant TV and a smiley, shapely nurse with soft hands and a deep appreciation of the History Channel and eighties music.
Or maybe we’ll just invest in Long-term care insurance.
http://personalinsure.about.com/od/longtermcare/a/ltcguide.htm
7) “Go to doctor what’s his name. He’ll get you pregnant!”
This happens more often than you might think. People are understandably presumptuous, and sincerely charitable when your spouse is a gifted teacher and children’s book author. (Touchtheart.com)
So when we lived in New York, parents of her students were eager to offer recommendations and referrals, assuming motherhood was an obvious goal for someone so nurturing and bossy.
