I don’t hate kids. And I’m guessing that Steve Shives doesn’t hate kids either. After all, he’s created both a “Why I Hate Kids” video and a “Why I Like Kids” video for your lighthearted consumption. This tongue-in-cheek parade of reasons why he could hate kids is arguably inappropriate but strikes me as a reminder that loving kids or hating kids isn’t at the heart of the childfree/breeder divide. Far from it!
But like this Jam Hands post, exaggeration and laughter are a necessary and healthy part of the conversation. That said, here are a few of my favorites from Steve Shives “Why I Hate Kids” list:
- they are loud
- the really smart ones can take 3 or 4 years to learn how to wipe their own asses
- they take over your life
- they think black and white movies are boring
- they pee in their beds
- they get bored easily
- you have to watch them constantly
- they’re afraid of cooties and harmless insects but not guns
- most of them are too small and weak to get any real work out of
- they lack perspective
- they are expensive
- they stole Halloween
- they don’t get subtlety
- they don’t look good wearing glasses
- they get to piss in your face while you change their diaper, and you’re not even supposed to get mad
- they consume everything and produce nothing
- they speak openly of their bowel movements
It’s okay to laugh. It’s humor. We won’t tell your spouse. Or your kids! đ
Related articles
- Do You Think Childfree Conversations Leave Out Childfree Men? (thebritgirl.com)
- Julie Bowen: I ‘Love and Hate’ My Kids! (inquisitr.com)
- Childfree – How Do You Cope With the Pressure to Procreate? (thebritgirl.com)
- Childfree: Just Why is Bad Behaviour Justified By Pregnancy and Parenthood? (thebritgirl.com)
- How Easy are Dating and Relationships for the Childfree? (thebritgirl.com)
